I have done nothing but cry the last three night. This is necessary and terrible. I will pull through but holy fuck, 5 years of music ruined by ego trips.

Denise has no idea that when the original band leader wanted to get rid of her, I rallied and brought Jon in, promising we'd bring her ass up to speed. She doesn't know and I probably won't tell her because I'm not cruel.


But mean people suck. Egotistical people who want something without work suck.

Denise says I make "them" feel inadequate. Her and the terrible drummer. Well, they are. I was ok working with people who aren't on my skill level. The only thing making them inadequate is their shitty attitude and that's out of my hands.

Fuck.
*hugs* Those messages from the other side are precious.

I really hope things start to swing upward for you.
If you want equality, join the draft
Say the men who crumbled the cities,
Who silenced soft and pleading voices.
Who ignored the shrill call of Gaia,
Who did not reckon with the croaking wisdom of crones.
But I will not join them.
And instead, will build something new.
I will raise my sons to love abundantly,
My daughters to tear down prisons.
One mother's hand determines the fate of a thousand.
One mother's hand can strike a match to burn it all.
One mother's hand can heal the masses.
Join the draft, they say.
But I am not a man.
I will join the world.

I had a dream that Sharon came to me. She said "hi girlie" like she always used to. She told me I'm dealing with the tower (tarot) but to remember that the star always follows. Always. Even when we cannot see it. So I drew my feels.

Step One
- Make a post (public, friends locked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
- Surf around your friendslist (or friends friends, or just random journals, or [info]holiday_wishes/[info]wish_list) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


1. The best bread recipe ever.
2. Socks. Wool if they aren't itchy. Something that will go well with my sandals.
3. A sturdy natural rope net for my glass fishing float. It's about 8 inches in diameter.
4. Art for my wall. It can be most anything. My taste in decor is suspect, as [livejournal.com profile] i_control_me will attest to.
5. A gnome.
6. Full set of Pirastro Eudoxa gut violin strings. Not brilliants. (http://www.quinnviolins.com/qv_eudoxaviolin.shtml Medium gauge, non-stiff D and G, ball end E.) They can be purchased one string at a time too.
7. A prayer. For me to Whomever you like.
8. Quilt. A heavy one, so big it could fit 3 of me in it's folds and leave room for friends. A quilt you would want to hide underneath for days.
9. Postcards of what you personally consider the most beautiful place in the world.
10. Arm warmers, midget sized please. I left mine at a studio a few weeks ago.
I was trying to record a bit of Gershwin today while my voice is husky from this consumption I picked up. Sounded neat but I couldn't make it all the way through without wheezing so I'll try again tomorrow perhaps, if the Samhain frenzy allows.

For tonight it's lots of Theraflu and some dark British melodramatic period pieces. Netflix put up quite a few new ones.

Also, I'm bitchy about phone chargers right now. We have 4. One of them is worn out. That makes 3. Miah kept yelling at me to keep my phone charged, so I keep my charger down by my computer. This has been working really well for me, except for the times he STEALS MY CHARGER. So I end up having to run around looking for it. I asked him to please leave it where it is. When I said this, first he goes "OMG WE HAVE 4 CHARGERS". I pointed out we actually have 3. Then it was "WELL YOU JUST KEEP YOUR PHONE SITTING THERE ALL THE TIME, CHARGING." I'm honestly not even sure where that was going. I made this face: O.o He then started to explain that he has a charger that he puts in his computer bag so he can charge his phone at work, but he doesn't know where charger 3 went. I pointed out then that the solution is not to steal my charger, but to hunt for charger 3 and in the meantime, use the charger from his computer bag and bring it back and forth. Apparently this is unreasonable. Grrrrrr.

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March 2016

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